Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Hmmmm...Talking.. and Secret Code Names?

So today I was going to go ahead and explain my traumatic experience of being attacked by someone you thought you could trust, but it was so long ago (the last day of August last year) and I'm just not in a "Ranty" mood anymore, not really. I will however set the ground work so that I can tell the story more easily.

Basically the purpose of this blog is to explain quickly who the main people are, out of respect to these other girls I refuse to use their real names because I'm not like them, they were my friends and I don't turn my back on people just because someone else says I should, so I'm using false names for these people because I'm not going to talk about them very often. Now, on the other hand I will not use a fake name for Rob, I know I'm going to be talking about him too much to keep up a false name, and I'm sure I would forget it anyway. Anyway I will put it in writing for you who these people are and what they were to me.

Rob~ When I first moved to Wisconsin I didn't have many friends (obviously I had just moved here) but I met Robert through two different people, it was his birthday and that night he asked me out, this was August 25th, we were "going steady" if you would like to call it that, for a while, he had been slowly manipulating me until I wouldn't have a life if it weren't for him, he was my afterschool, my before school, he was even my lunch (we get open campus... and no nothing gross, all we would do is stand in the DQ parking lot smoking cigarettes). He had started to control who I was talking to online and in real life, and talking to guys was definantly out of the question, otherwise I was cheating, I simply didn't realize what he was doing to me until it was too late. I became pregnant, and I wouldn't take that back for the world, I love my little boy more than anything but it was here, when reality punched me in the face, that I grew up damn quick, and he didn't. He was still doing his drugs and everything else he could think of, I'll admit he tried but it was always temporary and he would go back to doing what he did. I ended it eventually, Three days after his birthday, a year and three days.

Now there's more to the story but that's for later

Kara~ Kara, (like I said before I'm using fake names for everyone else) she was my best friend, her and I could do anything together, she was my first legitimate friend here.... but not anymore, I can explain that when I tell the rest of Rob's story.

Dannie~ Dannie is a follower, she doesn't really associate herself with anyone, but she likes to create drama, whether she knows it or not that's what she does and it drives me nuts, this is one of the reasons why I stopped talking to her but there's another reason too, and that's going to be explained with Kara.

so now you know the people who WERE important in my life at the beginning of the school year, I'll just leave it at that for now.

But I do have something nice to type about, I had an hour + long conversations with my mommy, I don't understand it anymore really, before I really could have cared less if mom wanted to talk to me, and I really didn't like listening to her because she can drag on sometimes. But damn that changed, I fucking love my mom, It's like I've become a clingy little puppy dog when it comes to her, and I'm not really ashamed to admit it.
We talked about my boy, and how it'll be growing up, how we'll have to adjust the pets to his smell and how I need to rearrange my room to fit the needs of a small infant and so much more. Talking with my mom is amazing now, and I think it has something to do with the fact that I've grown up a little and I don't want to lose my mommy, but the conversation was nice, I really enjoyed it.

Now I'm off to bed goodnight my Loverlies ♥

~Meghan

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